Συμβουλές για γονείς

Step Siblings

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brothersThere are several ways for a child to have siblings. A new marriage is the most common of these. Learn how to handle this complicated relationship!

 

Today a woman or a man who has divorced, often wants to find a new partner and remarry. Natural and sensible! But when there are already children in one or both lives, a new birth will probably complicate the situation!

 

Childrens' View

The natural parent feels confused and does not know how to deal with quarrels. This confusion, in turn, often makes children feel insecure. Jealousy, aggression and provocative behavior are common reactions of a child who feels wronged. Injusticed by his parent who took the place of his half-brother, wronged by the lack of his other natural parent, wronged by the favor of luck in his new little brother who lives with his real family. Negative emotions sometimes lead the child in the isolation and nostalgia of his old life. His inability to bond with his unnatural parent but also with his half-sister is a reality. Prejudice and suspicion are not lacking in their relationship. Many times, in fact, they both collect the cancellation, even if they don't deserve it, even if everyone agrees. Especially for a young child, the feeling of rejection from such a young age is very traumatic. The little boy, after all, doesn't know why his little brother doesn't care and doesn't want to play with him. He also can't understand why his parent's behavior is so stressful, awkward and unstable.

 

Your View

How you handle this situation is very important. It is up to you whether the children will be able to come closer, become friends or even feel like real brothers.
 
Both you and your new partner should keep the atmosphere of the house calm. You need to give everyone a sense of security by suppressing children's competitive emotions.
 
You also need to share your love, tenderness and attention with them. Also, it would be good to show your acceptance of every action they take and bring them closer.
 
It is also important to intervene in any concerns that may arise so that there is no "avalanche" and dams are raised between the half-siblings.
 
The intervention in the quarrels must be discreet so that one of the children does not feel wronged. The best thing to do is to point out the problem and ask them to solve it. Of course, try to confirm each time that peace has been restored.
 
In addition, try not to discriminate between your natural and non-natural child. It may not be "flesh of your flesh", but it is part of your current partner and it would be good to treat him tenderly.
 
Set clear rules and boundaries that apply to all children without exception and abide by them.
 
You both need to talk and behave with respect to your partner's ex-partner. Don't forget that even if they divorced, he remains the parent of your unnatural child. The task you have to accomplish may seem difficult. Under no circumstances, however, should you lay down your arms. If at some point your problems seem "mountainous", do not hesitate to turn to a specialist for help!

little brothers

 

See also

If you are experiencing such a situation, you will love the  "Yours, Mine & Ours. (2005)" a film with Dennis Quaid and Rene Rousso and maybe you can get some ideas!

happy baby